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RRC. How I became a cyborg and angels saw

ЛРЦ. Как я киборгом стал и ангелов видел

It was a lovely July afternoon, the sun was warm, blue skies, singing birds, life seemed lovely and long. I walked along the dusty edge of the deserted streets in our pastoral-relaxed summer Dedovsk, intending to miss running along the car and go to the opposing deli. Suddenly felt a strong blow in the left thigh, found himself lying in an overgrown burdock roadside ditch. Looking around, she saw drunk Murlo quite thuggish-looking, crawled out of cars and walking to me with full apologies and an offer to ride. Of course, around there has been no police, no witnesses. Politely sending benefactor known address and not finding within the reach of the brick for more argument, I rose stiffly, dusted himself off and trudged away. The pain quickly passed and the incident was gradually forgotten.

After some time, have bouts of sciatica that have not been able to stop neither ointments nor pills, no massage, no blockade. On the advice of good friends went to the Professor Bubnovsky center where I found a hernia around the spine inherited from the heavy ‘ 90s, but quickly straightened, forcing hard work on weights and forming a muscular corset around him. I was regularly engaged in gymnastics, swimming and in the gym. Summer and winter were running on skates. In 10 years, rescatistas on rollers, famously turned the corner of the unfamiliar house and saw a wide stretch of gravel. To brake it was too late because after a couple of jumps, slowed down which is tucked in the fence. Got off lightly, without obvious injuries, but soon felt annoying and intermittent pain in her left hip.

Having written off all on a stretching, not paying attention, but after a few months it turned out that the pain does not disappear forever, but increasingly, especially during long walks. Last fall, after walking a couple of hours on the exhibition Serov on the Crimean bridge, I felt that I can not sit down and went to surrender to the doctors. After an x-ray, the surgeon kicked me to the specialist, who has delivered a ruthless verdict – of the hip requiring hip joint androstenolone. At first the proposal seemed as wild as afford to permanently cut off a piece of my beloved and faithfully served the body only, insert a piece of metal inside, to become a cyborg and ring on the frame of the metal detector. Because the walk I could almost not limping. Maybe not for long and not far. But, after reading on the subject realized that would be a bad business and the withdrawal symptoms already does not really help.

I already knew about how much the surgery costs and was very surprised when the neighborhood doctor suggested that I take her quota of MLA. Having decided that in these troubled times we should not abandon Gossett, agreed, despite all the attendant difficulties and trials. Our antiquated clinic made the request in MONICA, from where soon came the invitation. And before the New Year, having collected in a folder all their papers, shots, and tests, went in the morning on the Mira. There I had to sit in the half dozen or so queues on different floors, but, having acquired in a few hours all the necessary signatures, I moved to a nearby building where very well is a Department of the Ministry of health of the Moscow region. Only one turn was not long in coming, and by lunch I was assigned in Medical-rehabilitation centre of the Ministry of health on Ivankovsky highway, 3, near Tushino.

Deciding definitely to do everything in one day, rushed there, even knowing that there is only a couple of hours. Arriving, he was horrified but not surprised to find in the hall a hundred people wound up pensioners on crutches and wheelchairs. However, relying on continued luck, decided to stand up. The queue was surprisingly fast, probably due to the fact that half was accompanying. Two young men quickly reviewing the documents that recorded and sent to the next office. And there stood, I still managed to get almost under the final box, and received a reminder for the patient, went to wait for an invitation to the surgery, which was to come on the phone. In our clinic I was promised a 2-3 month waiting MONICA -5-7, and here – the whole year. I could not be surprised and relaxed, going quiet for the holidays in his native Samara.

I was surprised when after a couple of days after returning the phone rang and I was invited to things and tests for the operation in three weeks. I was not ready for such and even felt a little shock, but not afraid, not afraid of anything a passenger train, taxi or plane, having entrusted his life to the driver, the driver, the pilot or God. Yes, the risk of failure and complications are very real, but statistically insignificant. Rushing out from the composition on the move I tried in my youth, but now it was really quite unreasonable. I described in great detail in my previous text “Three weeks”, which was compiled almost immediately, as the plan of the script, where I tried a little poshamanit, to program your fate on luck, which I was lacking in life. In General, the idea was justified, but the reality turned out somewhat differently to what’s next.

On leaving his home I bent down to put them in the bag came in the mail, but suddenly felt a shove in the back and the shoulder clip. Standing up and turning around, he saw a coal-black fight off the dog was pulled towards some unknown one-armed disabled person bomzhevatogo species. I swore, but I didn’t take that as a bad sign, and the dog could not bite through his thick coat. Getting off the train in pokrovsko-Streshnevo, I climbed to the stop at Volokolamsk highway, pushing forward the prepared crutches, hoping that I will notice from afar and pick up the first passing bus that goes directly to the RRC. After standing in the wind for half an hour, I realized that this tactic does not work and boarded the bus, quickly dovezli me to Petrovsko-Glebovo, from which its course within 5 minutes he came to the place.

Opposite the entrance was adorned with the Church, the background stretched a Park, navedi me very sad assumption, but I went boldly to surrender in the emergency Department. I checked my papers and tests, offered to sign a contract and was sent to the orthopaedic Department on the 7th floor, where I was very surprised and said that they have space only for ladies. I didn’t mind female company, but I was sent above. On the 9th floor I had to present all their documents and sign a bunch of papers. After which, finally, led to the house. Having the experience of lying in the Soviet hospitals and visiting Samara, I believed that 8 people in the house – it’s overkill, 6 – normal, 4 – good, 2 – smartly. I got a single room in a block with double and bathroom with shower. Hell was transformed into Paradise.

In the house was a bed with a hanging rod, which I dubbed the gallows, TV, table, two chairs, a wardrobe. In the vestibule – a fridge-an electric kettle. All clean, newly renovated, but without any unnecessary odors. Coupled with free WI-FI it looked almost like a very decent hotel. Yes, 20-inch flat TV Supra showed only a few dozen basic channels, but any claim already seemed to me clearly excessive. Before I had time to change clothes and to sleep, as I was surrounded by dense care constantly scurrying hither and thither doctors, nurses and cleaners. Immediately brought lunch, a thin-dietary, but quite edible, besides the food here, as it turns out, as much as 5 times a day, every three hours, from what I’ve been weaned during bachelor life with 2 off, but in dense meals.

They took me to the start instruction, again took blood for tests, was visited by the surgeon, the anesthesiologist and the urologist, telling me everything and answering questions. Knowing people advised to stock up on cash, enough to pay for any service, and especially recommended to specify General anaesthesia and offer additional money in order to avoid undesirable consequences. All my attempts to find out the possibility of special service, offering an informal promotion, stumbled upon a complete misunderstanding. I decided not to insist. Looking ahead to say that cash was useful to me only for the purchase of water and soft drinks, which are here recommended to drink strenuously after the operation, in vending machines and cafeterias. The prices seemed a little high, but tolerable on the General background of excellent service.

The rest of the day passed in calls, and text messages to friends, family and loved ones, and in the morning I showered, shaved in the right places and began to await their fate on an empty stomach. I was forbidden even to drink, so as not to interfere with the normal action of drugs and freeze. I sat, stood, walked down the corridor, not daring to stray too far from the house because the call to the operating room could occur at any time. I replied to the post, decided on remote work issues, placed orders, watched TV, listened to the rumbling in the stomach ravaged the day before. The hours dragged tediously, and I was beginning to worry, not forgot about me when me came. I pulled a compression stocking and followed Virgil, who turned a young and polite guy with a strangely sloping skull, but my fears proved groundless.

After crossing the chasm Elevator, the labyrinth of passages and corridors, we were in the operating room, where an attendant, pulling on a diaper and cap, took my clothes and left on the couch waiting for the anesthesiologists. I wished that I took with a smartphone, would make a cool selfie. Included nurses asked who’s to Semenov. I couldn’t remember the name of her surgeon, but did not dissuade them, hoping he won’t cut me something. I have measured temperature and pressure, and then injected something into the spine so that I soon ceased to feel my poor feet at all. Then I was taken on a bed with wheels directly in the operating room, where with jokes-prebiotikami about my excess weight was loaded on the table under a huge reflector.

After turned on its side, put some tubing in the nose, tied his hands, did another shot and then I passed out abruptly and completely, not having any be afraid of, nor something to feel. I didn’t see any tunnels, glowing entity and other popular Labuda, about which he wrote earlier for readability, and just suddenly popped up from slumber without any memories, as violently as if he only closed his eyes. And felt fine, fresh as a Daisy, fully aware and feeling everything around him, except for the feet and without feeling any pain, weakness or nausea. Next, I was taken to postoperative compartment where lay already with a handful of fellow sufferers. A guy mumbled something, trying to pull the catheters, the grandma next why it froze, while the others slept. I only looked at what is happening with gay interest, found on a second stocking sticking out of the sides of the collector drainage empted me and a bunch of tubes hanging from the IV drips over me.

However, the life around was in full swing, operating the conveyor worked flawlessly on well-established algorithm, hovered around sisters, making shots and checking the readings, every 10 minutes gripping the forearm, controlling our blood pressure, pulse and other parameters. It was fun to watch, took up one and brought it with new operations, followed by dragging and monitors, similar to the old pipe, 14-inch. It turns out that there is still not enough and had to drag in a nearby similar house. By the way, all sisters were young, toned and taut, seemed almost beauties and angels salvation in their bright and sterile clean clothes, returning people from the dead. However, this endless spinning quickly become boring and I gave up.

I woke up two hours later and immediately felt that I was starting to feel my legs. The feeling was very pleasant and reassuring, but very peculiar. It turned out that not just on the machine to move while a finger, and need to send to him a quite serious brain impulse, presenting in detail this movement. Then the feelings came in a healthy hip and knee, allowing the muscle to contract slightly and moving the foot. Foot was able to spin a little and bend back and forth. However, the Shin while she was still out. It was night, and, realizing that my return waiting for friends, I started to develop leg, being able soon her to bend a little and lift it over the bed. Gradually came to life and a bad hip, but I was as careful as possible, without forcing events.

However, frankly, I’m more worried about now is not the legs and what is between them. There’s no movement was observed, and the body seemed strange unusual-cotton, not giving any feedback when the tingling sensation. Then I started massaging for a start, healthy thigh, trying not to think about how I have right now looks sick. However, any pain and has not appeared, apparently, I was constantly inject anesthetics. It was nearly night when I started to lift and bend not only healthy, but also affected leg. After evaluating my condition and progress, the sisters decided me not to delay and called my Virgil with a bed on wheels as much as from the 9th floor, immediately switching to the remaining heavy contingent, so I don’t even have time to thank them.

Did not expect that riding on the bed by the familiar corridors and elevators could be so interesting and enjoyable, as the return from the Underworld. Especially pleased with the fact that I left dinner, which I ate with great appetite, offsetting almost daily abstinence. It was almost 23 hours when I finally managed to stay in my room alone and start sending his fans a message about my victory in the match with rock. Most of my friends anxiously waited for this and has expressed his appreciation of the positive result. Then I started sending price lists, see the mail and invitations with Maxpro. Fortunately, there weren’t too many and by one o’clock I was already so tired a bit, went into the arms of Morpheus, figuratively speaking, of course.

But at 6 in the morning I already woke, bringing pills, a thermometer and Pomeroy pressure. Next started morning rounds, Breakfast, doctors visits, x-rays, muscle toning. I had a feeling I was having every 15 minutes, paying attention to and fulfilling every request like I was a VIP person, even though I paid only the minimum set of additional rehabilitation procedures, just enrolling for a paid 10-day course. And then the instructor came in and stepped up to me, verticaltab with the aid of crutches. To my surprise it was quite easy and quickly mastered the simple parts, he was hobbled first by the house, and then the corridor. It encouraged most of all, despite the fact that the sensitivity of the body do not recovered fully.

I almost felt like a cyborg, being hung with catheters and intravenous drips, carrying his literally with you, but I’m not too burdened, delighting the possibility of returning to their former physical activity. However, this was somewhat confused during the visit of a good friend, who played the role of good Samaritan, so I had to lie down again by removing from sight all unnecessary. Of course, I delicately concealed some of the overly bright physiological details, is able to confuse the weak psyche of the most faint-hearted readers, but I will try to reflect all the essential to most authentically and accurately. Unfortunately, the night my mobility was significantly limited, and it was very difficult to turn even on the healthy side, holding a cushion between legs, not to mention more…

The next day began physical therapy, which I have already almost effortlessly operated on his bad leg, quite vigorously, flexing and rotating it to the surprise of the instructors, some surprised by my form at the background, barely breathing in an average 70-year-old Dedkov and attendants. After I realized that the second crutch I already superfluous and continued walking corridor, already leaning on him the whole body, and only arm. On the third day after the operation, I put the crutches on the bed and more did not appeal to them by going to the wand. The fourth – mastered walking the stairs that was also very simple and easy, and went to the buffet, replenished supply of beverages and bought a big box of Raffaello, a block of chocolates Vacheron. It became clear that I don’t need later in RRC.

On the fifth day I was discharged. Having been in the hands of 9-30 extract disease and outdoor newsletter, I Packed up and said goodbye to the duty shift. I had neither the time nor desire to stick in a pocket bills every expert and maybe I anyone disappointed in the best expectations, but I really wanted to Express my appreciation and admiration for their harmonious and wonderful work, not so much like a well-oiled, but a soulless mechanism, but perfectly harmonious and friendly team of cruise liner. Sleepless in daily work for 35 000 rubles, none of them never not hinted, therefore I could not leave them all at their modest gift from the wheelhouse. Discreetly thanked me and immediately took the remaining patients.

Seen in lrts showed me that not everyone in this country so disorganized and corrupt that even we can work honestly, effectively and efficiently, without citing poor salaries and insufficient funding. Yes, I realize that I was lucky and such exemplary grace is not yet in every city the clinic, what I in a forehead have faced, back in his own town. On the ground missing heartlessness, stupidity and the most basic, but the process is moving in the right direction and progress is not stopped, it will spread from such foci of high culture in the Outback. It gives me hope that in other areas things are not as bad as many believe that Russia will ever reach that level of social maturity that deserves a great power.

Unfortunately, a friend going to pick me up, stuck in the usual morning traffic jam on the Volokolamsk highway, but, calling a taxi, I got to pokrovsko-Streshnevo, where he crossed the railroad, and after 35 minutes came back in Dedovsk. The only problem was too much difference between the platform and the train step. The companion was already waiting for me there and helped carry the bag and no longer needed the crutches to the car. Home waiting for me empty fridge, small everyday problems and the visits of friends who helped me to cope. A week after the surgery I was already walking around the room without a stick, only keeping still for sure behind the wall. So the experience was very informative, useful and positive for me. I hope that not only.

Maybe for someone this text appears to be too slow and ponderous, but for me it is exactly what initially was called a blog – a personal online diary, allowing you to better analyze and understand yourself, your impressions, ideas and opportunities via submitting for public review and discussion. As well as people around you, including not only physicians, but also friends, relatives and loved ones, who appeared somewhat ambiguous, as throughout the process of training and rehabilitation, and when reading these notes, partially created in the hospital under the still fresh impressions transferred. I apologize in advance to those who, attracted by the catchy title, considers himself in vain spent time reading what a completely uninteresting and roundabout.

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