Psychologist Marina jurbenko gave couples practical advice.
In Ukraine, the ongoing nationwide quarantine with the objective of non-proliferation of coronavirus. Closed all public places, except for grocery stores, pharmacies and banks, as the Ukrainians call as long as possible at home, which was a very hard task.
According to Global Times, March 1, in the Chinese provinces has dramatically increased the number of couples wishing to separate. The cause turned out to be quarantine and excessive stay of the couples in isolation alone with each other.
Many couples have become, to put it mildly, to be afraid of this, and, therefore, to turn to psychologists for advice how not to get divorced during the quarantine. This was stated by the psychologist, transactional analyst and psychotherapist Marina jurbenko.
According to her, the first and most important is to accept the fact of what is happening. To realize that globally we can influence only on the personal safety and the safety of their children. At this stage it is also important to repeat himself (even every day) that it won’t last forever. Everything in this world is dynamic and has come to an end. And in this free time it is important not to fixate on the conflict and try to transform it.
“For example, if you feel an irresistible tide of aggression – a wonderful way to remove can physical exercise, squats, push-UPS and everything that relates to physical activity. If you have children – wonderful! With them it is simply impossible to remain static. It is possible to a pillow fight, fool around, play any Board games and, in the end, just to incorporate into the daily routine of daytime sleep,” explains Marina.
Secondly, if you have still a conflict, the psychologist recommends to share “I-messages” in order to avoid accusations of catalysts and other scandals. According to jurbenko, the focus of your attention should be solely on their own feelings and their speech.
“Focus your attention on your own feelings and emotions about any situations as mutual claims and accusations with breakneck speed, you will fall down in the conflict,” – says the expert.
Thirdly, since you still have the house, you can try to disclose the General talents, and perhaps passions, which still can not reach the hands.
“For example, to make a home “Masterchef” out of existing products. Start to praise your partner for any of the care. Even if it’s washed dishes or cleaned the table. Yes, in the usual rhythm of these things seem self-evident, however, during the period of quarantine it is not. Say to each other words of love, give thanks, ask permission about everything, even if it is permission for the compliment,” advises psychologist and explains that the more positive strokes you will be broadcast, the more likely the lack of tension.
Fourth, according to Marina, it is important to give each other more space and time for solitude. A Deposit of emotional health in personal space as it gives the option to restart thoughts and give a little to relax the body.
“It is particularly important to give space and personal time young mums, believe me, they will give you much more positive energy, if you will be rested and resource. Go with the kids in the kitchen, or on a short Hiking into the yard, of course, observing all precautions,” advises the expert.
Fifthbut not least – romance. According to jurbenko, if you want more love, you can romantic candlelight dinner arranged. And the children could be waiters in the process of this wonderful ritual. Just imagine what a positive imprint it will leave on their perception of the world and the formation of family values in the future.
The psychologist says that if you include a creative approach, you can still lot of things to think of.The most important thing is to stay together in quarantine and become for each other a real Bank unfailing love and support, which provides loans without the requirement to return back. Because these deposits will be repaid you a thousand times!
According to jurbenko, forced intimacy without the ability to leave or retire really difficult test for a relationship, especially if it concerns health. But, believe me, parting – you will attract into your life much more difficulties not only psychological but also physical, material.
“However, any situation you can always benefit from. And suddenly you will discover your talents, which for so long hid from everyone. I assure you, this is your chance to see for yourself a completely new look, especially in their talents,” concluded the psychologist.